Should I keep it to myself?

To anyone that reads this and suffers from any type of mental illness like myself:

Should I publicize that I have mental illness on my social media or should I just keep it to myself?

I know that I write all my thoughts and feelings on this blog. But family and friends don’t know that this blog exists.

Some friends and some family know my situation but don’t neccesarily understand what I’m going through.

But it’s Mental Health Awareness Month.

& I want people to know about it. But I feel like I need to open up about my own mental health if I’m going to post something about it.

I’m just afraid that people won’t truly understand when I post it.

Because in real life, people don’t understand it. But at the same time, people need to be aware of mental health.

I don’t know.

Should I?

 

thanks.

-Mel

Twenty-two days.

It’s almost my birthday.

Things are different this year.

In twenty-two days, it will be ten years.

10 years that I lived, after the age that I wanted to kill myself.

I was 13/14 when my depression began. I told myself that by the time I was 18…I was going to end my life.

It’s almost 10 years past that age.

I always get depressed around this time…weeks before my birthday.

There’s so many reasons for it, but mostly I wonder if it was worth it…that I stayed alive. 

I take a close look at my life: present and past. I revisit good memories and bad experiences that occurred throughout my life.

As I move toward this new year of my life, I need to make more decisions based on what I want more than what is best for others.

As the days get closer to my birthday, I’m going to revisit my past, contemplate about my future and try to convince my present life that it was worth staying alive for these past 10 years.

I’ll update you.

-Mel