Oh hey, I have Depression.

Today.

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day.

I have thought about ending my life numerous times in my 28 years of life.

Sometimes those thoughts were too close to…

Well. I’m here now.

I have been going back and forth with the thought of spreading awareness about mental illness, by exposing my own battles.

Especially on social media to family, friends, etc. (well on Instagram).

But today, I don’t care. I have been posting on Instagram showing clips of depression, how people perceive depression, songs that have helped me with depression and even this post.

I want everyone to understand mental illness. I want to spread awareness about it and stop the stupid stigma.

When you tell people that you have depression, they aren’t necessarily there for you.

They stay away.

Sure, some of them say to call them whenever you need them. But, they don’t respond when you actually need them. 

One of my friends always stays away whenever I say anything close to depression, not even saying the word depression.

It’s very obvious in text. Whenever I would share my feelings, I don’t get any response. It could be days, weeks and even months (the most was 6 months) where we didn’t talk.

But as soon as I mentioned something else completely different from depression, she would finally respond.

Cousins and other family members think that when I’m feeling depressed that they should just stay away and not talk to me. Especially during family get-togethers.

For the past year, I’ve been so tired of just pretending to be okay around my family. So I’m quiet and typically keep to myself. So, they just stay away as if I have a disease that’s contagious.

Many people do that.

They think that depression or any type of mental illness is contagious.

If they’re happy and you’re depressed, they stay away. They don’t want your sadness to affect their happiness.

That’s the way it is sadly.

I have written about how I wanted to die before. So I’m not going to repeat myself.

I honestly don’t know how I’m still alive. 10 years later after I wanted to die.

But I want everyone who has depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts to know:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

I am here for you. I understand and know what you are going through.

There are many people out there who feel the same way.

We can get through this together.

 

-Mel

 

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