It’s only Tuesday and I’m already feeling anxious and overwhelmed.
Things are out of my control.
And I don’t like it. I don’t think anyone likes it when there life is going a different way than they want it to go.
I wanted this week to be the start of changing my life. Getting my resume done, looking for jobs, budgeting my money, etc.
I wanted to work on my resume’ this weekend, but I didn’t feel good physically. I was tired, had a sore throat & had a huge headache.
I have to do errands but it’s giving me so much anxiety that I have to do it another day.
I was looking forward to having a Disney Day in the beginning of October with my friend. But she can’t, and she tells me that she don’t think she can at this moment. I need that Disney day.
I feel like my boss is discussing things more with my co-teacher as if she’s the lead teacher. And she’s still pretty much new. And basically, I’m just nothing. Oh, I still haven’t gotten that “promotion” that I was told I was going to get before summer started.
I honestly feel worthless.
I’m trying to be strong and trying to be motivated.
But I can’t.
I can feel the anxiety building up in me. These small, but the shitty things that keep on coming up in my life are going to make me explode.
I know I have a lot of things to do and worry about.
But I need to focus on my mental health right now.
If I need another day or days to calm my anxiety, then I have to do it.
Or else this anxiety inside me will…
I don’t know.
I texted the Crisis Text Line last time.
So I guess we have to decrease this anxiety before it escalates.
-Mel
hello melmel 