Did I do something wrong?

Social media kills me.

I say that all the time and yet I am still on it 24/7 like every person in this world.

But when I see a post about: an engagement, a pregnancy announcement, wedding photos, photos of a child’s birth, anniversaries, a new home announcement.

It messes with my mind and it triggers my anxiety and depression.

And my mind is constantly thinking…

Did I do something wrong with my life?

I know this is my depression mind speaking. 

But did I do something wrong?

How come people my age are in that phase of life and I’m not even close to that?

I’m not dating so I’m not engaged, I’m not getting married, I’m not buying a house and I’m not having a baby.

And what makes it worse is when I’m constantly getting questions if I’m dating someone or what’s new in my life?

I am struggling so much.

On battling with my mind on a daily basis.

Some days are fine. It’s been good these past two weeks.

One photo on social media creates one thought and it turns into a million thoughts of questions, worries and just hating myself.

I NEED TO GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA.

No one day social media detox.

I need to get rid of it.

All of it.

29. In a couple of months, when I go into my last year of my twenties.

No more social media.

I don’t want any more of this triggers affecting me.

I couldn’t function at work and was irritable at every little thing.

I was crying all the way home from work & having the strong desire to bang my head into the steering wheel.

Because I want those thoughts to escape my mind..

From that one photo on Instagram.

 

-Mel

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