Holidays are the Hardest.

As everyone is out celebrating the Fourth of July.

I’m at home.

Painting to pass the time and get this day over with.

My screen on the phone only tells the time and the day.

No messages, no notifications, nothing. It reminds me of how pathetic my life is.

My co-workers kept on asking me how I was going to spend this holiday.

And all I could say was “I’m not sure”.

I didn’t want to tell them I’m going to spend it at home painting and watching movies all day.

Probably watching fireworks on youtube.

It wasn’t always like this.

And I always think of past holidays where plans were made and I wasn’t spending the day at home.

This was before I shared about my mental illness to others.

It sucks. I can’t put it in any other words than IT SUCKS.

Happy 4th of July.