I started to panic this morning, more like an hour ago.
I was stressing out over getting paperwork and all the things I needed to get for my new job done.
Then as I was driving to get errands done, more worries began appearing in my head. Then I began second-guessing my decision about the job. Then chaos ensued in my mind.
Then I just yelled out loud in the car (to myself):
I need a break!
At the exit, instead of turning left I went straight back to the freeway.
And drove to a place, that I frequently drive to when I need to breathe.
Just driving with music and my thoughts.
Then I decided I needed to exit because I needed coffee.
I always keep a journal or two in my car because sometimes I just to write something down in my mind.
So with my coffee, I wrote down everything in my head. I wrote the pros and cons of the new job. The pros exceeded the cons, which in my head the cons far exceeded the pros.
I wrote my current worries and left space to write the solutions to my worries.
And after writing it, I was able to breathe a little and my mind wasn’t chaotic anymore.
To me, writing is very important to me whether it is in the form of handwriting or typing.
I am able to write out my true feelings more than verbally saying my feelings.
Whenever I verbally state my feelings, not everything comes out or I panic and say something else completely.
The muscle movement of writing and typing helps so much. I don’t know why but that’s how I was able to successfully study while in school. Writing my notes down instead of typing it helped me understand and learn things so much better.
(I bet there’s a study on it which I will check another time)
Whenever my mind is anxious about a thought at night, I feel like I am able to relieve that anxiety by writing out my worries. Then my body and mind will feel more at ease and sleep.
Maybe this is why I have like a hundred unfinished journals. Because I need to write whenever I need it.
Write it down.